24 October 2011

In August 2010 Scotland’s Housing Expo took place at Inverness, featuring the green, environmentally-friendly, energy-saving houses of the future. 52 real houses there were, and are. 28 were built for local housing associations and eight were funded directly by developers. The remaining 24 were to be sold off to guinea pig owners, the proceeds of which were to offset the cost of staging the Expo which was backed by £10 million of public (ie taxpayers’) money. So far, so good.

In the green mini-village there are houses with rubber roofs, large expanses of glass, walls made from used bricks, walls of ivy growing on larchwood, and much more. Energy conservation and the use of recycled materials are at the heart of these designs from a variety of architects and planners, and though you might think at first some of the buildings look a bit odd (or at least different) internally and externally, the heating costs can be extraordinarily low – £64 per year to heat a semi-detached two-bedroom home and the rubber-roofed four-room home will cost no more than £92 a year to heat.

Here is what I wrote about the Expo when it was taking place:
I have to be honest and say that most of the houses really look rather good! However I do wonder what the cost of these structures will be compared to more conventional housing which just meets the minimum standards, and how long it will be before the undoubted fuel savings compensate? But it needn’t be a case of one or another – the ecohouse or the non-ecohouse – this is an opportunity to show off alternative materials and constructions, which can be incorporated on a pick and mix basis into future housebuilding, both private and public.

Well, I need wonder no more about the cost of these structures. They are much too expensive. The green village could well be called Whiteelephantville! Of the 24 houses, some of which are valued at over £300,000, one has so far been sold. Yes, you read that right – one house!

“The whole thing is one disaster,” said Inverness South councillor Jim Crawford. “We warned this would happen. The homes were not Highland designs, it was futuristic designs, where architects were given free rein. The prices are way beyond most people’s means. We had a housing market in collapse and they were building futuristic homes that people didn’t want and couldn’t afford. It is disgraceful.”
Not only are the sales of the houses not going to plan, the original Expo was a bit of a disaster. Poorly marketed, badly sited, it made a £514,000 loss on running costs, generating just £137,000 from ticket and programme sales.  

According to the official report the Housing Expo was a triumph. According to the official report the Housing Expo was a triumph. I’ve just said that again! And why have the houses not attracted buyers: obviously the cost but also they’re a bit cramped internally and externally; the innovative features are untested and unproven in the long term; the cost of repair and maintenance of state of the art and unproven technology is likely to be excessively high; the claims about the energy costs of these houses just invite skepticism; the houses are just too eco-friendly, too carbon-efficient, too different to what people are used to and want to live in. They should be offered for sale at realistic (ie knockdown) prices to reflect the above. Houses will continue to become more eco-friendly, but it will have to be a gradual process, taking into account the affordability of the houses, the practicality and roadworthiness of new innovations, and just perhaps consulting people about the kind of houses they actually want to live in. OK the last point is maybe a revolutionary step too far!

This article is topped by a pink elephant picture. This is not as an excuse for a string of pink elephant jokes (eg “How do you shoot a pink elephant?” “With a pink elephant gun", and so on and on and on.”). Nor is it because I couldn’t be bothered digging up a picture of a white elephant. But because the previous article on the Housing Expo was called Fantasy houses, dolphin seats, pink elephants. And it was illustrated with a pink elephant, a genuine Inverness pink elephant which resides happily in Whin Park. She is called Petunia. Petunia, and she is speaking on behalf of her fellow big beasts in Whin Park, would like it to be known that they would be very happy if the Highland Council would send round every few years a man, or woman, with a paintbrush and pink paint (preferably petunia) plus appropriate colours for her fellow big beasts.  

See Inverness Courier, Luxury housing fair homes now selling as "affordable". The Expo website is still alive, if you wish to see piccies of the houses and detailed information about the designs. For elephant jokes (and if I was reading this article rather than writing it these are the links I would follow) see St Cronan’s School and Mooseyard (the top 131 elephant jokes). Many more elephant joke sites are available. For another Inverness-related elephant story see the amazing, extraordinary, mind-blowing, truly sensational, revelatory and revealing Nelly and the Midge, a Sustainable Scotland piece which has attracted a considerable amount of interest and comment since it first appeared.

Q: How is an elephant like an apricot?
A: They are both gray. Well, except the apricot.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in the refrigerator?
A: The door won’t shut.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in the refrigerator earlier?
A: Footprints in the butter.

Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge in the first place?
A: Open door; Insert elephant; Close door.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
A: Open door; Remove elephant; Insert giraffe; Close door.

If you have any elephant jokes please post in Comment box below.

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